"You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they'll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay Attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, it will be over before you know it."
~Unrealistic platitude with unknown author
Many wiser (and older) women seem to share phrases, quotes, or memes with similar contexts - your children are only little for a short while, and this time will never come again, so enjoy every minute.
I think there are some really great points about this type of thinking that should be taken to heart as a younger and less wise mother, such as myself. The fact is I don't often remember to just enjoy my children's curiosity. I don't relax and breathe through the tough moments. I actually choose to completely ignore my children more often than I should and more often than I want to. I don't look at my days as gifts when I haven't showered or left the house...or maybe even more when I haven't showered and yet been forced to leave the house. I already see my oldest (4) as a grown child, and I have no idea how he got there - his little feet aren't so little anymore. The time has been over before I even knew it.
There is wisdom in those thoughts. I need to remember them as I trudge through the monotonous trenches that are raising all littles all the time.
AND...
It is unwise to give such advice, comments, and statements without a recognition of the obvious -
Some days and some moments all we want as moms is for it to be over before we know it.
All we want is for them to be a little older than they are today.
Some days feel like the gifts you receive from someone who doesn't actually know you or your desires at all.
Some days are UNenjoyable.
And when we are in those moments, platitudes about how wonderful our lives are now and how much we will miss it someday don't give us hope or encourage us. In fact, they do the opposite.
Although, even though all my children are young, I am beginning to forget some of the worst days. Some battles you face as a parent are better off forgotten, and somehow that happens. You begin to remember those days as a quick passing and remember the good moments - the moments where you were able to relax and breathe and just study their little features and their little minds. And I truly believe that the older and wiser moms and grandmas who share such quotes are at a place where they have forgotten those trenches and realize that they pass quickly from your mind once they are over.
Those trenches of motherhood were real to them in the moment, too. We all have them. And I, for one, am glad to know that even through the trenches, these women remember the joy. I want to remember all the joyous moments, because they are plentiful. I want to relish in the moment, and when I have my worst ones, I want to know that someday I won't remember that part.
But I also want to be the older and wiser grandma who looks at my daughter(s) and daughters-in-law and says,
"Phew...it is HARD, isn't it, honey? I know. I remember.
AND isn't it wonderful? I know. I remember. You will, too.
Now, you go get some coffee by yourself while I relax, pay attention, examine their little feet, and relish in the charms of the present."
