Emotions are a gift from God. They help us recognize unsafe situations, they move us to change our actions, they inspire us to work hard, and they connect us to each other. God created men and women in His image. Women typically express a wider and more sensitive range of emotions. These, we can believe, are in the image of God. So, emotions are good, but they sure can be a killer if used in the wrong ways.
And one of the worst ways we can use our emotions is in church. We can kill the church with our emotions. We can kill our faith with our emotions. We can kill the faith of those around us with our emotions.
What do I mean?
We have completely girlified the experience of church. Note: I like to make up words.
We look around and say, "Where are all the men in the church? Are there any good men left?" The congregation is turning more and more female, and we don't seem to understand that we, the women, play a role in that sad state of affairs. The American church loves feelings. It is IN LOVE with feelings.
This song makes me feel so good inside.
I feel the Spirit here today.
Do you feel Jesus hugging you?
Do you feel Him moving amongst us?
Emotions are great. Feelings are great. But they can't be trusted.
If we continue to assume you must get some sort of feeling from church, then we are going to keep pushing away men. Men do not experience life like women. Thank God they are different from us. We need them to be different.
What does it say to men who don't experience emotions the same way? It says, "Oh, you don't feel Him? You don't feel good inside when you sing this song? You aren't crying with emotion at the Spirit? Then, this probably isn't the place for you. You probably should try a little harder. You probably should get closer to Him."
Am I saying this only happens to men? Of course not. There are also women out there who think the church, at least the way some American Christians do it, is way too girly.
It is dangerous territory - depending on feelings and not on the Word.
Here's something that shouldn't surprise you - feelings change.
Depending on changing emotions and not on a changeless God leads to despair...
I don't feel forgiven.
I don't feel loved.
I don't feel like I belong here.
You very well may not feel those things, because Satan has a great deal of control over the human experience. Emotions are easy to play with and deceive. As women, we sometimes allow them to make our decisions. Does this mean we should stop feeling? No. It means we have to start recognizing when our emotions and feelings are gifts and when they are curses. We have to start asking more important questions about where we are going to receive Christ's Gifts (His forgiveness and His Body and Blood).
Are you judging a service in a church based on how good you feel when it is over?
OR
Are you judging a service in church based on how the pastor pointed out your sin (proclaiming the truth that you and I are poor miserable sinners), and then poured the Gospel on you (proclaiming the truth that you are a saint in Him)?
*I hope the second.
Are you singing a song about God but could easily sing it about your boyfriend, too? Does it make you feel good?
OR
Are you singing a song full of references to Jesus Christ, the GodMan who died on a cross and shed His blood for you? Does it teach you something about what you believe?
*Second, again.
Are you listening to someone tell you that God wants you to have your best [insert feeling great] life now?
OR
Are you listening to someone tell you that you will have suffering (along with emotions) in this life?
*Yet again, the second is much preferable.
Are you burdened with guilt because you don't feel like you have spread the Good News to enough people?
OR
Are you free in the Gospel to share the reasons for the hope that is within you?
*Do I need to tell you which one here? The second, just so we are clear.
Do you depend on the Spirit to move you in a service and praise the Spirit when He does?
OR
Do you know the Spirit never seeks praise for Himself and does in fact move you towards Christ just by bringing you into the church?
*Yep, are you getting the pattern?
Some of this may seem like semantics. Well, words and the way we use them matter. The way we describe our emotional experience (or lack thereof) in church matters. So, keep on feeling, ladies. Feeling is great when it is given by God. Let's just not make our church depend on them.
