It happened.
I was out to eat with my family on Friday evening. My kids were actually acting like civilized human beings. Dinner went very well. My husband went to throw away our water cups, and I was standing next to the growing burrito line with my newborn attached to me in a wrap and my two toddlers holding each of my hands. Then, it happened...
Two women in the line looked over at me, saw the baby in the wrap, and said, "Wow! We love that wrap! I wish they would have had those kind of things when my kid was little...." As I was responding, I saw their eyes catch glimpse of the toddlers. Their eyes shifted from one to the other, then to the baby, then to me...standing there alone.
And it happened. Their tone changed.
"Are these ALL yours?" with a sense of amazement, disbelief, and disgust.
So, ladies in the burrito line, this one is for you...
I know it is shocking. First, I have three children. In this society, that is shocking enough. Second, I have three children who are all three and under. That is strike two. Third, I have children who don't match in skin tone. There it is. Strike three...in your eyes.
You only said four words - Are these ALL yours? But what you might not understand is that you spoke so much more. You told me about our society, you told me about yourself, and you told me about our family. I don't really blame you, you see, for you are just a product of this world. When you look at me - alone with three children, three and under, who "don't match," you think many things. First, you think that is too many children. Then, more arrogantly, you think you know something about my sexual promiscuity. That's okay, I am used to it.
I see you in the grocery store.
I see you at the park.
I see you in the restaurant.
Because, dear ladies, I have actually never seen YOU, but I have seen you.
And although I have seen you so many times before, I still can't quite find the right words to respond to you. Should I be gentle? Should I be angry? Should I spend the extra 20 minutes it would actually take to explain my family and why we are so awesome? Sometimes you make it seem worth the battle. Other times, I just smile and walk away, allowing you to believe whatever you want about me.
When you say those four words with your mouth and those one million words with your eyes and tone, you don't have anything to lose. I have six little ears waiting to hear how I will respond. You can say anything you want and walk away. I have to answer to the three little mouths that will inevitably have questions. You can go on with your life as nothing has happened, and you never have to see me again. I will face you again tomorrow.
So, dear ladies in the burrito line, "Yes, they are ALL mine...and my husband's."
And for when my sharp tongue gets the best of me in response to the words you spoke and the words you didn't speak, please forgive me. I will try to answer better when I see you tomorrow.
